kiruv.com

CLICK HERE to see Frequently Asked Kiruv Questions.

1.) How can I do kiruv, I don't have the time to take on another obligation?
Believe it or not, you can do amazing acts of kiruv without changing your schedule at all. In fact, most kiruv happens in normal situations - at work, shopping, or commuting. Often, Hashem will bring people into our lives. Some examples are- you can be seated next to someone not yet frum (NYF) on an airplane or a bus , while you are out, someone NYF may start up a conversation with you about something Jewish. You may meet NYF people at a wedding or simcha . If we have kiruv on our minds, we are much more likely to take advantage of these situations. Moreover, even if you don't have the time to work with this NYF person yourself, sometimes you can do kiruv by simply connecting this person to someone else who can help them. We offer an aish.com card for all to carry for situations like this to hand to a NYF person, and let him know what an amazing site it is, and that he will find anything Jewish on it.

2.) How can I do kiruv, I need to work on myself first?
Doing kiruv can actually help one work on oneself. While, one must definitely have a foundation in Torah prior to reaching out, the actual process of reaching out can help you clarify the proper Torah hashkafa and can also help you become inspired by participating in the joy of one who is discovering Torah and Mitzvos for the first time. Of course, one must always work on striking a constant balance between one's own personal growths and dedicating time to reach out to others.

3.) What if they ask me a question that I do not know the answer to?
You don't have to have all the right answers on the tip of your tongue. You can always say "That's a great question! I don't know but I will try to look into it." In the meantime, you can contact us or a kiruv Rabbi who can help you with the issue. We also recommend reading through the book Eye of a Needle. It can help you feel prepared to deal with basic kiruv issues that often come up. One can also check out the section called 'teaching materials' on the front page of our website, for helpful guidance.

4.) What if the person is antagonistic?
This is usually not the case, as most not yet frum people today are just simply uneducated. However, at times, a person may be like this because of a bad experience they had. If a warm and loving approach does not help, than it's probably best to move on, as this person is not sincerely searching for the true path at this point in his life.

5.) What about the effect that kiruv may have on my kids?
Kiruv can actually strengthen and inspire your kids. When kids see how their parents give over our mesora to unaffiliated Yidden and when they watch people learning about Torah and Mitzvos for the first time- your kids will also get inspired. However you have to know your kids; at times there are some strong concerns (e.g. secular influences that result from kiruv, issues of tznius) that need to be weighed carefully.

6.) How can I do kiruv, I am not an outgoing person?
First, we have to remember that kiruv is a mitzvah for every Jew. Now, while being an outgoing person may help in some situations, there are many ways to do kiruv for the non- outgoing person as well. You can have people over for shabbos using Shabbat.com or your local kiruv organization to provide you with people. You can learn with someone over the phone in a structured learning program. You can become a part of our kiruv mentoring program and we can coach you through easy ways to reach out to not yet frum people in your life.

7.) How can I do kiruv on 'so and so', he'll never change?
A great Tzadik once said, "Never underestimate the potential of a Jew". We have seen many times, that there were people who seemed like nothing could move them-and yet someone did something that really opened up their neshamas. However, even if seems like nothing is working with this particular person-remember, Hashem just wants us to try our best.

8.) I have some people who work with me in my office, how can I reach out to them?
The secret is to build relationships. The first step is to be friendly and make a Kiddush Hashem. Once this is established, you can give them a Jewish calendar or Easy Outreach gifts for the different Chagim. Ultimately, you can invite them for Shabbos and Bezras Hashem develop the relationship from there.

9.) How should I react if I am 'bageled' (i.e. a not yet frum person makes a Jewish comment to you)?
Sometimes, Hashem brings the kiruv right to you. If you are prepared and composed (something which is often not the case when this quick, spontaneous interaction occurs) you can ask with a smile, "Do you have wine for Shabbos"? This can serve as a way to build off of the quick interaction. If they say "no" you can offer to give them some wine or invite them for a meal on Shabbos However, if nothing else comes from it, you still made a Kiddush Hashem by reminding them of Torah and Mitzvos. You can go here http://www.kiruv.com/toolsForSharing/ and forward a nice article, film to them as well.

10.) How can I invite guest for Shabbos, they may drive?
Very good question. There are a number of different psakim on this issue. You should follow whatever your Rav tells you. However, our psak by Rabbi David Cohen is that you can invite them for Shabbos if you offer them an invitation to stay.

11.) I want to begin learning with a not yet frum person, but I am not sure what to learn with them?
This depends on a lot of factors. A lot depends on what type of person you are learning with and what his or her interests are. We have a suggested book list as well as many excellent links to articles on Kiruv.com. One book we recommend often is 'Schmooze' by Rabbi Nechemia Coopersmith. One can also check out the section called Teaching Materials on the front page of our website, or to our One on One learning page for some suggestions http://www.kiruv.com/one-on-one/default.asp

12.) How can I do kiruv, I cannot relate at all to not yet frum people?
Ironically, sometimes kiruv comes more naturally to one who has had some experience with the secular world. However, even for people who have, Baruch Hashem, not been raised with secular influences they can still do kiruv by being friendly and making a Kiddush Hashem. Surprisingly, sometimes not relating can be an advantage.

13.) Does doing kiruv mean that I have to make the person frum?
No. It is not all or nothing. Literally the word 'kiruv' means bringing closer. If you just helped the person for a moment in their life to think about Hashem and His Torah-you have done kiruv. Of course, 'Mitzvah gorreres Mitzvah' and one mitzvah leads to many more.

14.) Should I try to be mekarev someone who is 'married' to a goy?
Even though, there are more challenges in this type of situation, one should still not abandon the possibility of kiruv completely. Try to make a Kiddush Hashem as any mitzvah you can help them do is still precious. Situations where the kids are Jewish are even more vital. At times when the non Jewish 'spouse' shows some interest, conversion should be viewed as a possible goal (which can occur, particularly if the non-Jewish 'spouse' thinks he is Jewish).

15.) How can I overcome my own fears about reaching out to someone?
First, we have to realize that this is the yetzer hara that is trying to prevent us from performing one of the most important Mitzvos in the Torah. Also, it helps to consider that, almost always, not yet frum people respond positively to being thought of. Of course, one must daven for success. You should remind yourself that you are doing a mitzvah- and there is nothing in the world to fear but Hashem. See this film to help you overcome your fears.

16.) Can I give a not yet frum person a gift of food (e.g. Meshloach Manos) if they may not make a bracha?
We have received a psak from Rav David Cohen that it is ok. However, one is encouraged to ask his personal Rav.