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Here’s a tool for you. It’s very simple. It’s called the compliment tool.
This tool has the potential to develop the following things:
(i) Help you appreciate and love the person you are reaching out to all the more
(ii) Help him / her feel appreciated and loved
(iii) Develop your relationship in a healthy way
Here’s what you do:
1. Simply think of any person you know who is unaffiliated
2.
Think of a virtue you appreciate about that person and especially a way
in which it expresses itself in his / her or your life – something that
happened or something that they do, for example.
3.
Communicate this with them. In person is best, but the phone works well
too. E-mail can also be touching – but takes more effort and focus to
express well.
Question: “It seems strange to just come out with a compliment - how do I do that?” The answer is: as long as you are sincere it will come across well. This is the key. You
can simply say something like: “you know, I was thinking about you
recently and I realized how much I appreciate the way you are so
sensitive to the people in your life…especially the time you….”If this is too complicated – you can just give the compliment straight. Even without the example – they will appreciate it.
Making it special: A
way to make this special is to write a card to the person expressing
this thought, although this can also be done another time or to another
person. Obviously this way will depend on what kind of relationship you
have with the person. But a “thinking of you” or “thank you” or simply
a blank card with a beautiful picture might be appropriate. Just FYI, you are also allowed to do this tool with the frum people in your life – your family members, friends, coworkers!
Ahavas chinam is the way to a healthier world and brings the ge’ulah as well!
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